Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:37 pm Post subject: Old folks sex
This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'
OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.' _________________
When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah asked, 'Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You
are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.'
Mr. Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do
when I do it.'
Oprah said, 'I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your
age.'
George said, 'Of course I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good
at it.'
Oprah said, 'I have never been with an older man, would you do it with
me?'
So they had sex and when they finished Oprah said, 'I just don't
believe I have ever been so satisfied, you are a remarkable man.'
George said, 'The second time is even better than the first time.'
Oprah said, 'You can really do it again at your age?!'
George said, 'Just let me sleep for 1/2 hour. You hold my
testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and wake me
up in thirty minutes.'
When she woke him up, they again had great sex, and Oprah was beside
herself with joy.
She said, 'Oh Mr. Burns, I am astounded that you could do a repeat
performance and have it be better than the first time... At your age, Oh
My, Oh My!!!'
George said that the third time would be even better. 'You just hold my
testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and call me
in thirty minutes.'
Oprah said, 'Does me holding you like that kind of recharge your batteries?'
George said, 'No, but the last time I had sex with a black woman she
stole my wallet!'
_________________ I like what I like... and what I like.....Thrashes!!
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
