Want to follow in the footsteps of the Supremely Marvellous Boy Wonder? Of course you do! If not, you shall anyway because cleverly hidden within these cunningly chosen words is a subliminal message telling you to obey The Boy Wonder. Marvel at my gorgeous yellow cloak... err... OK... maybe not!
Every week, I sit down with my partner (no, not Aunt Harriet, you fools) and watch the latest rental. Boring? Yes. Pointless thread? Yes. But I'm Robin, so this is gonna be cool. Trust me.
I'll post a review on the film of my partner's choice.
What? You think it's my choice?!? You've clearly never met my partner. Once you do, you shall understand.
Anyhoo, to get the ball rolling, I'll start with Poseidon.
Please feel free to post comments and abuse me and my choice of film as much as you want. That's what this thread is all about!
Robin The Boy Wonder
Poseidon
A remake of the original The Poseidon Adventure, this film should hardly be ignored because of it (unless you've over 35 in which case you probably spent the entire movie waiting for Shelley Winters to re-appear with an up-skirt shot that no one needs to see...). This is the updated, shiny, CGI version by Wolfgang Petersen, y'see; the characters have changed but we still have an annoying boy...
The CGI is fairly impressive especially the moment when the boat sinks. When the boat goes under, you're convinced; and, in this movie, as people flail haplessly to the ground/ceiling, it's with a satisfying bone-crunching splat. Petersen even allows himself the luxury of a few well-thought out and imaginative deaths. A lot of money clearly went into sinking that stupidly oversized boat!
The acting is pretty impressive overall yet Josh Lucas spends most of his time laughing whenever he rescues the boy from impending death... which is rather worrying. Spare a thought also for Kurt Russell; Kurt is perhaps one of the most under-rated actors in Hollywood and his performance here is exceptional. At the opposite end of the acting spectrum is the cameo from Fergie (of the Black Eyed Peas)...
The cast is tight and Petersen has provided a quick, fast-paced edit. He doesn't waste time getting to the point of the story and wooden scripting is thrown out (unlike the original) when the boat sinks. There are inevitably some stereotypical performances and the actress who plays single mum Maggie deserves mention purely because she's hot. Her character may be steroetypical but I'd recommend freeze-framing some scenes on the DVD simply to admire her beauty.
For the girls, Josh Lucas is more than adequate eye candy. If I were a girl, I'd like him. But I'm not a girl... I'm just saying that if I were...
Overall, this is a fun disaster movie. Critics will compare this to the original, however, Poseidon simply doesn't deserve it. It's a good movie on its own merit and, while following the story of the first movie, has enough within its body to stand afloat as its own beast.
Rating (out of a possible 5 stars): ****
Guest
You'd recomend freeze framing the DVD to admire her beauty? And your Missus says... I'm sorry thats not the answer I was looking for - now i have to beat you to death!!
If your walking with a limp next time I see you I know what has happened!
Robin The Boy Wonder
Captain Opinion wrote:
You'd recomend freeze framing the DVD to admire her beauty? And your Missus says... I'm sorry thats not the answer I was looking for - now i have to beat you to death!!
If your walking with a limp next time I see you I know what has happened!
If a poster called 'Ann' joins, I'm running for the hills!!!
Guest
Dude, if a poster called Ann joins you will only find out as after sha has broken your legs!!!
Robin The Boy Wonder
The Santa Clause
The Santa Clause
Somehow I'm going to post a review of the movie I 'endured' last night: The Santa Clause... starring Tim Allen and enough kids to make any sane parent have nightmares for the rest of their life!
First things first, this isn't just a kids movie. Sure, kids will love it but this is a film that adults can get into as well... you just have to know where to look. If we take away the kiddie elements from the plot, this is what you're left with:
Scott Calvin is separated from his wife who has moved on. It's fairly obvious from the start there will be no reconciliation. Scott has to look after his son on Christmas Eve... and even I felt sorry for the poor kid as the last thing he wanted to do was stay with his somewhat pathetic father. And yes, the portrayal for the first 15 minutes is exactly that: Pathetic.
The kid movie starts then and Scott becomes Santa after Santa falls off his roof and dies. Well, disappears; but dying is dying and Santa dies. Now that the kids are thoroughly trumatised and considering calling ChildLine, they're entertained for the remainder of the film while Scott goes through various mishaps before finally becoming a big fat guy in a big red suit (that reminds me of someone...).
Sadly, there is no totty to admire. At all. Not one cute chick that'll give you a rise in your pants. Not one.
The acting is fairly good for a kids film. Tim Allen gives an average performance yet somehow remains on just the other side of panto. Sadly, the same cannot be said for Judge Reinhold who couldn't be more camp if he dressed up in bodice and suspenders and paraded around the screen with a red fluffy duster. The kid is annoying and you spend the film hoping that one of the reindeer will mistake him for a carrot.
As for the elves - they're all kids. And they act better than the adults!
Overall, if you have kids you need to entertain, go rent the sequel - it's a far better film and even the parents will enjoy it. If you're single and wondering just why the hell you're reading this, you may as well give this one a miss. And, if you're wondering just why I've watched this...?
Ann made me.
Rating: **
Guest
So whats happened to every week then?
I've been waiting a month for my next fix of "What Ann made me watch and hot me till I said I liked it - then i snuk online to slag it off!"
Come on - its interesting to see what you are being made to watch!!
Post damn it!
Batmanuel
boy wonder wrote
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spent the entire movie waiting for Shelley Winters to re-appear with an up-skirt shot
now that is my kind of film, reminds me of... best not say anymore
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Somehow I'm going to post a review of the movie I 'endured' last night: The Santa Clause
i am glad you said 'endured' otherwise i was going to join Cap in beating you with a BIG stick.
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Sadly, there is no totty to admire.
What!!! no Totty, that that then.
must be a crap film
But if anyone is interested in a good film without Totty i would recommend,
Dead mans shoes, i think thats what it was called,
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while Scott goes through various mishaps before finally becoming a big fat guy in a big red suit (that reminds me of someone...).
Yep i thought that too
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And, if you're wondering just why I've watched this...?
Ann made me.
We dont belive that, bet you secretly love these sort of Films, and made her watch them.
Robin The Boy Wonder
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
Hey!
You want more, Cap?!? You got more!!! Although this one is painful...
Yesterday we went Christmas shopping to Bluewater... the plan was also to see a film and we both agreed that, depending on the time we finished, we'd go see a film of our choice. I chose Casino Royale. Ann chose The Santa Clause 3. And I thought HAH! Casino Royale is on every hour! I CAN'T LOSE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
...I lost...
10 minutes late for Casino Royale; 10 minutes early for Santa. I knew my taking the time to have a crap at Bluewater was a bad idea... So, without further ado... ahem... oh shite...
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
OK, you may have guessed that this is a sequel to the sequel of the original. At the end of the last film, Santa got himself a semi-fit girlfriend and, between films, got the slag pregnant. This then, is the point of the third movie: Santa is struggling to cope with dealing with a prospective family and preparing for Christmas at the same time. Hell, he hasn't even checked the Naughty & Nice List yet!!!
Mrs Claus (Carol) is missing her family. She loves being surrounded by elves (children to you and me) just as much as the big guy but needs tall people around her; specifically her family. Sad thing is, that Santa's family decides to tag along for the ride. At the same time, Jack Frost has been a naughty boy and is seconded to Santa for the season rather than face suspension from the Magical Table (inlcudes Mother Nature, Father Time, Sandman, Cupid etc etc). Jack though plans to steal Christmas...! BOO! HISS!
Needless to say, there's a happy ending but I won't spoil it for you in case you decide to go to the cinema and endure this in the same way that I would prefer a public flogging.
But this film does surprise: Martin Short is surprisingly good as Jack frost and thoroughly enjoys himself. He may not steal Christmas but he certainly steals the film from Tim Allen (Santa). Tim, on the other hand, just looks like he's going through the motions and is rather coy to put on the big red suit until five minutes from the end. The actress who plays Carol simply looks bored - a month later, she joined Lost as Juliet! The kids are plain annoying, especially the Chief Elf. The family storyline serves a purpose but gets lost in Jack's machinations and suffers from a pathetically contrived ending.
So, there we have it. Better than The Santa Clause but not as good as The Santa Clause 2.
Rating: **
And if you came to this review looking for totty... well, I found a rather interesting film on Movies24 last night called Sister In Law that more than made up for the lack thereof in the previous film!
Be sure to come back in a couple of days for a review of the last film I watched on TV with Ann... The Muppet Christmas Carol!
Robin The Boy Wonder
Batmanuel wrote:
We dont belive that, bet you secretly love these sort of Films, and made her watch them.
What can I say? I have a fetish for big, fat men in big, fat red suits!
Black Phoenix
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I chose Casino Royale
watched that the other week, i was quite impressed definately better then the other recent Bond films.
though it was meant to be the first Bond just after he gets his 00 status, they didn't back date the technology (which was sponsored heavily by Sony) so i'm guessing that they are completly re-starting bond to keep him up to date rather then try and fit him in before the others. - a bold move if that's their intention.
Overall, some good acting and an overall silly plot - but with enough "seriousness" and charector development to it keep it being farcical.
worth a watch. (especially if you can get a half price cinema ticket on wed's)
Guest
You know, I think i actuallt enjoy Bond films more when I watch them on the telly.
Don't know why. Just do!
Batmanuel
I Never really got into Bond films untill Goldeneye, which was rather Fun.
Robin The Boy Wonder
United 93
OK, I said this would be 'A Muppet Christmas Carol' but this one enterde my radar and blew me away.
United 93
This one is surprisingly difficult to review; it's more of an experience than a movie (and yes, I know that doesn't really make any sense). We all know the story of United 93; how on 9/11, a group of passengers foiled a terrorist attack on an aircraft whose likely target was The Pentagon.
This is also the film that director Paul Greengrass opted to make rather than Watchmen.
We know the story; we know the premise and we know how it ends. But it isn't really that simple. The film captures a raw emotion that I don't think has been repeated anywhere else; the actors involved give it their all and I suspect there may be some emotional investment on their part. Their performances are all too good; it's, well, it's raw. And as a result, it's powerful.
The script is stunning as is the near-flawless pacing and direction. We skilfully move from the aircraft to the ground with seamless precision. It's also heavily thought provoking and may even go so far as to give an insight as to what happened that day (sure, this is only a film but...).
I know I came away from this film saddened yet inspired and would urge anyone to view this. No totty here; this film is actually above totty. It's also a rather stark reminder that the world we live in today can be rather terrifying...
Now if Paul Greengrass can go away and make Watchmen...
OK, this review is pants but... the film is an experience. Remember that before you settle down to watch it.
Rating: *****
Reaper
There was a lot of Ad libing in United 93 apparently.
Robin The Boy Wonder
Reaper wrote:
There was a lot of Ad libing in United 93 apparently.
That doesn't surprise me; still, it came across really well and it worked. I wouldn't recommend it for every movie though...
