| Archive for Whatever Comics Forum for Whatevercomics.co.uk Discuss comics. Air your points of view. Fun for all the family! |
| Batmanuel |
'Batmanuel's Bedtime Stories'I wont start this with the supermarket; I will get back to that. But for my first story...Years ago a friend of mine had a very bad upbringing, he used to tell me stuff about his home life which sometimes made me realise how lucky some people are. He had a very violent father, who for no reason at all would set about him and issue a beating, and we are talking beating here, not a slap, sometimes he would come to school covered in bruises. One day his father who was not known for kind acts said to him after dinner, here son go get some ice cream for the family, and while your there get yourself a bar of chocolate, the father was very specific to which shop he would have to go to, and although the shop was right at the other end of town he was overjoyed that his father had shown some kindness toward him. As he was riding to the shop he thought my Daddy does love me, Daddy does love me. When he arrived at the shop he brought the ice cream, raspberry ripple, he knew this to be his fathers favourite, and with the chocolate money he got a bounty bar. He knew his dad liked bounty’s so he intended to share it with him on his return, a father son-bonding thing he hoped. With that he set off, cycling as fast as he could so the ice cream wouldn't melt, after sometime and exhausted he arrived home to find... That his family had moved house. |
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| Robin The Boy Wonder |
How old was he then...? And what happened next...? |
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| Reaper |
Christ thats harsh, do you think his dad didn't like him? | ||||
| The Rascal King |
No way.
Bloody hell. Thats a little bit harsh. |
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| waffle |
Bullsh!t.
I call shenanigans. |
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| Batmanuel |
Waffle Wrote:
Yes it was... and a whatevercomics no prize for being the first to spot it, to the rest of you.... Bwa ha ah aha, got you 
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| Batmanuel |
And now the supermarket story, this will proberly be a bit of a let down but here goes anyway:
The Wife and myself were due to do our weekly shop, so with this in mind we went off to Savacentre, a place we were not unfamiliar with, as this was where we went when the cupboards were bare. So off we went, at the time my wife was learning to drive and we had a beat up old Morris Minor, on approach to the roundabout which would lead us to said savacentre I remember asking my wife to break, we were approaching the roundabout at about forty miles per hour, now this in its self was not a problem but the Morris Minors breaks were not that good. Why she said, Break I said, but why she said, BREAK!!!!! I SHOUTED. We went round that roundabout on two wheels, on the wrong side of the road, I swear to you if something had been coming on the other side, a collision would not have been avoided. Why? That’s why! I said to my wife in a calm and forgiving tone
So off we went to do our shopping, we were near out of food at the time and had been living from the freezer for about a week. So a large shop was in order. By the time we were finished we had a trolley, which was stacked to the ceiling, off to the check out we went, hoping we had enough money to pay for all this stuff. We got to the check out and started to pack the stuff in carry bags at which point we run out of carry bags and asked for some more, sorry the cash out lady said only three bags per £60.00 spent. Stop messing around I said, we need more bags. You need to spend another twelve pound sixty eight for a further three bags she said. Are you taking the P**s I said. Well there’s no need to be rude she said Look stop P**sing around we need more bags. No sir it is company policy three bags per £60.00 worth of shopping. Call the Manager!!!!!! Manager, that’s right sir three bags. RIGHT I said have it back... Manager, I beg your pardon I SAID HAVE IT BACK, and I will go else where to do my shop. (Bear in mind that all of the items had been rung into the till at this point but I had not yet paid for said items) And with this I started to unpack my three bags and distribute the contents every which way. Manager: lets not be hasty sir here are some bags, All of a sudden it was raining carry bags, I proceeded to pack one item per bag, and then and only then did I pay for my shopping. On leaving I was politely asked never to darken their doorstep again. And this is a true story
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| The Rascal King |
AHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh man, thats fantastic. |
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| Reaper |
Mwuh ha ha ha ha hah a ha
That's one of the funniest thing I've read in ages! |
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| waffle |
Three bags per £60 - that's ridiculous. What if one of the items you bought was a cheap kitchen-roll multipack. That's one bag used up there already.
Plus - I will take this moment to gloat for winning my whatevercomics no prize. I RULE! thank you |
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| Robin The Boy Wonder |
Sweet!
I really like the way you threw that story about your wife's driving in there too (Hi Debbie!  ).
Just out of curiosity, did you ever go back to that supermarket again? |
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| Batmanuel |
Boy Wonder:
only for some more free carry bags
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| Batmanuel |
A subject which was brought up in the Punisher thread reminded me of something that happened to us in the Maidstone shop, us being myself and Captain Opinion.
A couple of regulars came in one day to pick up there standing orders, this was Stewart and Martin, they would usually come in thit an other guy (i wont use his real name) but on this day he was absent, where’s Chris (woops) i asked, as his comics were pilling up a bit. Oh he has gone a bit weird Martin replied. Bit weird we asked, how do you mean a bit weird? he has be talking about Gender reassignment Stewart replied. Gender Whatasignment? what the hell is that when its at home, the ins and outs were explained to me and the end of it we were all laughing Yeah they said he wants to be a Manga chick, but before that will even consider it he has to live as a woman for a period of time. I didn't know he was Gay i said, yes said Martin we asked him about this, we told him that if he becomes a girl then, you know, you may have to at some time do it with a Man. No he said, i am not Gay But you are you know considering a willy chop and all you must be a bit the other way, and here’s the punch line No he said im going to be a Lesbian and this is so true, ask Cap O if you don’t believe me |
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| Reaper |
My friend who I mentioned in the Punisher thread is exactly the same. Man - female but will be a lesbian. Like i said in that a little hard to get your head around full stop. | ||||
| Batmanuel |
I think that maybe your friend is in denial or is suffering from an unspecified mental disorder
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| Batmanuel |
Criminal lawyer Awardheres one for the old web of fear
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued...and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid £15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires." And here is the punch line... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a £24,000 fine. that'll teach the blighter
This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest. Hummmm... i wonder if you can insure expensive brandy against evaporation, just a thought
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| Reaper |
I heard about this about 10 years ago now, was a great story
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| Batmanuel |
Time i think for a new story, tis true i swear (bollocks) see
i lived on a street which was terraced and was a bit tight for parking, so with this in mind everyone in the street would park as so everyone else could find a space, being a cul-de-sac alien parkers were not a problem. to cut a long story short, if everyone positioned themselves with a certain amount of common sense everyone could park, its not rocket science, until a new neighbour moved into the area. (sigh) there’s always one. New neighbour decided in his infinite wisdom that his parking space was right outside his house, now let me make this clear he only had to park a few feet back for everyone in the street to park, failure to do so meant he was taking two parking spaces up, and if you infringed into his space he would park right up to your bumper, this guy had it down to a fine art, he could park to one eighth of an inch without contact. Amazing but true. Now again to cut a long story short, after a few discussions a first and final warning was issued by myself to the neighbour, do it again and you will NEVER park outside your house again. he laughed and shut the door in my face, the very next day he returned to form. ok I thought lets see. with that, and knowing a few guys in the motor trade a asked around, i need a cheap car, a friend of mine said, i know a guy with a cheap one, no MOT, ok lets take a look, a ton-fifty later i was the proud owner of a 1968 Ford Cortina. I worked on that car for a whole day, run it in for an MOT and guess what it passed, got six months tax on it and parked it outside my neighbours house. We would then make sure when we went out that as i would move the Cortina the wife would park her car in the space, at no time would the space be free. Now I fully expected a confrontation , but none were forth coming. This went on for six months, the tax was due when my wife and friend said come one enough you have taught the guy a lesson, bollocks i said, never means never Four days before the tax was due we had a knock at the door, is that you car sir, could you move it? depends i said who are you? were the removal men your neighbour is moving house and we need to get the van in, ok i said no problem. so they moved house just before i needed to buy the tax, result, i went on to sell the car for 200 quid, even better. however both my wife and my friend went on to condemn me for being too extreme, i still say never means never, not a few months, not a few years, but never. about three months after they moved we were taking the kids to school and we spotted his car, and bugger me if he was not doing the same thing to another neighbour, and i said to my wife, see i told you i was not being extreme, the guy is just a natural born asshole, if i had backed down for a second the bastard would have been in. i felt fully justified in my actions and fully justified in being prepared to stick it out, so bollocks to my neighbour and bollocks to my wife and friend. and the lesson to be learnt here is, say what you mean and mean what you say, otherwise keep your mouth shut
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| Black Phoenix |
i can't resist but post this up grumpy guy production
it's not great but in light of the previous story i can perhaps see it happening.... |
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| Batmanuel |
Ha.... thats a great post Black Phoenix. I've had some major problems parking in Canterburys car parks on a daliy basis trust me. i did it for years when i used to travel in every day from Sheerness, nightmare.
I really really wish i had thought of doing that
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| Batmanuel |
Thought it was time for a new story...
Its the 24th of December and i am driving in from Canterbury to maidstone for the last shift before x-mas, I had a Manager in the maidstone shop at the time so i was not to worried about being late, and as The Boy Wonder will confirm parking in town on the run up to X-Mas can be a nightmare. However during this period some of the private car parks open up to the public with proceeds going to charity, the stage is set and i park in one of these private car-parks give the guy the money and asked him, what time are you closing the car-park,? 5 0 clock he says, that fine i close at half 5, but being X-Mas and all i will shut a bit early to get my car, no problem. the day passed and at around 4.45 i said to my manager finish up here im going to get my car. and off i went, it was about a five minute walk to where the car was parked but by now it was raining, i hate the rain. Got to the car-park and everyone was gone, the barrier was down and i thought ...oh no they have only gone and pissed off early and left me locked in. I tried to vandalize the barrier but to no avail, i don't f**king believe it, its the 24th of December and i cant get home, i was not amused. back to the shop, let the manager go home, call the wife, explain the worst possible case scenario it that on Christmas Eve she will have to come and get me, Right off to the police station, wait in a Que, explain to officer whats happened, advised to return to my car and get the leaflet that was given to me when i parked as it may have a phone number, back to the car-park, its still f**king raining, attack the barrier again. kicked it punched it hurt myself doing so, went back to the car to get the leaflet and its STILL raining, and then... some guy come walking in and starts walking to the only other car in the car-park, i think to myself, don't know where he thinks he is going, but hang on maybe there is another exit that i don't know about, so i watched him. as he got into his car, started it up and drove to the barrier???? which then opened automatically 
Sigh |
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| Reaper |
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ahem  Nearly as funny as the frenchman story from this afternoon
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| The Rascal King |
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHA. | ||||
| waffle |
that's brilliant
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| Robin The Boy Wonder |
DOH!
Ah, Maidstone at Christmas. How I miss thee... NOT! |
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| Batmanuel |
So here i am, with a few moments to spare, and then the mind wanders off and you remember spectacularly stupid things that you have done in life.
one of which i will recount for your pleasure right here, right now. Its not a corker like locking myself into a carpark with an automatic barrier, but it is still quite amusing I was about thirteen when a friend of mine suggested, lets go to London, we will be able to buy loads of comics in London, wont we? well off we went. we arrived at Victoria, wide eyed and full of excitement, yes we thought, London, surly here we would find those elusive publications we so desired. problem was, no one had acually told us that London was a rather large place, we walked for miles, and eventually found a small newsdealer with some Marvel Comics, we found the houses of bloody parliament, and buckingham fucking palace, but no comic shops. so with this, and feeling tired, disappointed and hungry, we agreed to make our way back to Victoria station, on the way we stopped off to purchase a drink, my friend brought Cola, and i Brought Fanta. my friend drank his, i however did not, preferring to save it till later, so into my pocket it went. so it off to Victoria, on arriving we noted a certain amount of bedlam, Trains had been cancelled, delayed and all-sorts, so much so that this poor BR employee was acually writing the times of departures on a Blackboard, yes with chalk. confused and dazed by the chaos we read the notice and realised that in order to catch our train we had about 15 seconds to get on it, suffice to say, we missed it, after running like bastards, it was just out of reach, and off it went....without us, so we now have two hours to kill, sigh. out on to the main area we went, at this point it was chaos, what seemed like hundreds of people running here, running there, with no idea other than what was posted on the black boards in chalk where the hell they were going. i have had enough of this i thought, and I'm thirsty, hang on, i have the can of fanta, but i have been running around with it in my pocket, so its going to be well shook up. I know, i will hold it facing downwards, so should it spit out no one will be affected, and with that, i took the now well warm and shaken can of fanta, faced it into a downward position, and pulled the tab.... Jesus fucking Christ it went off like a small nuke, in the heat of the moment i thought it would be a really good idea to slowly raise the can into a upright position, showering the porter, the black board, and several members of the public in the process, i especially remember one particular gentleman whose look of sheer abject horror still remains with me until this very day. through the blur of the moment which now seemed to have slowed down to an almost slow motion i did hear my friend shout ... RUN. |
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| Reaper |
Ha ha ha ha, let me guess you didn't do that again?! | ||||
| CatFang |
Brilliant! | ||||
| norsefire1 |
awsome LOL 
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| Longshot |
classic childhood stupidity. | ||||
| Batmanuel |
Its all been a bit quite on the forum of late, so i thought it was time to share one of those little moments in life that only ever seem to happen to me
Besides things have been far to serious, what with the skrulls makeing us have it and all. This story is one of those little things that happen once in a life time, and NO I am not talking about a night of rampant love with Scully, I should be so bloody lucky. It was an ordinary summers afternoon when the mother in law came to visit, she was returning from a journey when she ran into a little bit of car trouble, knowing that I know a bit about the motor car, and being that my house was closer than hers, she managed to nurse said vehicle to my street. Asking me to take a look she said I will pop in and keep an eye on the kids if you like, thanks I said as Debe was out and I saw a perfect opportunity to mug the old girl into not only looking after the kids but cook the tea too, result. The car was overheating, and I told her that it was wise to have brought it to my attention rather than continue to drive it as a hot engine block can crack without coolant, and that’s a new engine job, but don’t worry, that hasn’t happened and I am sure that it is the thermostat that is faulty, a quick check by unbolting the housing and dropping it into boiling water revealed just that. Just going to pop to RTP’s and get a new one for you, don’t worry it will cost less than a fiver and take about half an hour to repair, just long enough for you to prepare the pie and chips I had planed for tea, of course she said I would be delighted to cook the tea… Result. don’t get me wrong, I like to cook, but put a screwdriver in my had, and some other tools, then point me at something which is broken, and well, there’s no competition really is there? At this point I might just interrupt the story in order to tell you that in the past I have been known to pull the mother laws leg a bit, well ok, more than a bit, quite a lot in fact, suffice to say that the more outlandish the story the more likely she was to believe it, up until the point where she would say “Really” and I would reply “no”, and then run. Anyway, off I went, got the thermostat, and proceeded to install it, I wont bore you with in ins and outs (in and out, sounds a bit rude) sorry where was I? oh that’s right I repaired it, Easy! It was while I was running the car up to temperature that I heard a little tinkle.. What was that? And then another little tinkle?? Moving toward the sound I noted the car door didn’t look right? And then the unthinkable happened. As I want to close the door, it fell off, yes, I found myself standing holding the car door which was now completely detached from the car. Have you any IDEA how difficult it is to remove a car door? No! well its bloody well near imposable, difficult to the extreme, and this one decides just to fall off, how? Why? And… How the FUCK was I going to explain to the mother in law that, yes I had repaired the overheating problem but had installed a very crude form of air-conditioning? I carefully rested the car door against the front garden wall, stood back and looked at it, turned and looked at where it was supposed to be, as in attached to the car , and then looked at it again, and sighed… Well remember how I said that I would often pull the mother in laws leg? It went something like this. Iris, I have fixed the car but I need to hold the door in place so I can replace the pins that hold it, because it has sort of fallen off. Yeah right, she replies. No, really, I need you to help me reattach the door to your car. If you think I am falling for that one you have another thing coming… It took me over twenty minutes to get her anywhere near the bloody car , when she realised that I was in fact serious her jaw dropped, and for the first time ever she was speechless, and I have to tell you this, if talking was an Olympic sport the mother in law would win. The next day I told a friend of mine who was no stranger to working on cars and he said, fucking hell mate, do you have any idea how difficult it is to remove a car door? Yes I replied, I was with you when we tried to remove one in the scrap yard, oh yeah he said. But do you have any Idea how difficult it was convincing the mother in law that I wasn’t pulling her leg! |
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| norsefire1 |
that was awesome. | ||||
| CatFang |
Heh
Mechanics is quite rude though - my dad told me that you can always remember how an internal combustion engine works with the phase "suck, squeeze, bang, blow!". Which is true. |
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| Batmanuel |
Catfang:
Stop that now, you brazen hussy, stop that right away
I might remind you that this is Britain and we don't suck, squeeze, bang or blow! in Britain, unless we are 1: sucking the poison from a deadly snake bite in order to save the life of a fellow soldier. 2: squeezing the puss from and infected boil in order to save the life of a fellow soldier. 3: Bang that foreign blighter on the nose for having the affront to say hello to a fellow soldier and thus try to corrupt him with a funny looking cigarette.. 4: Blow those damn invaders away with a good wholesome dose of BRISISH SPUNK. its those Damn frogs, they do ALL sorts of things. Rumour has it that they use tongues when kissing, now that is disgusting!!!
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| Reaper |
Did you actually manage to work out now the door.... fell off?! | ||||
| Batmanuel |
was that now the door fell off, or how the door fell off,
if it was the latter, then no, i never did fathom how the hell the door fell off
but fall off it did. |
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| Robin The Boy Wonder |
What I want to know is...
Did you get the door back on...? ...and was there a lot of heavy breathing from you and the mother-in-law while you put it back in...?
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| Batmanuel |
Boy Wonder:
No. see photo, that's how i drove it to the garage the next day for her, door in the boot, well hatchback, seats folded down and all.
Brrr, that's just wrong, on so many levels, i am so glad you put a smile at the end so i knew you were joking 
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| Batmanuel |
Its 2.30 pm, and I have arrived home after a 6am to 2pm shift at the factory, Debe wasn’t home yet as she didn’t finish work until 5pm. So I thought I would cook dinner, that well earn me some brownie points I thought, nothing fancy mind, as Debs was a bit of a Plain Jane when it came to food it those days. Fish Fingers and Chips it is then with a side of tinned tomatoes, how difficult could it be? After all I had worked in catering in the past, and held the first part of the city and guilds certificate in elementary catering… Easy! So I peeled the spuds, chipped em up, put the toms in a saucepan, fish fingers under the grill, chip pan on, and bobs your uncle we are ready to go. Waited for the chip pan to get nice and hot, and dropped the chips in, what could be simper . As I dropped the chips into the now boiling vegetable oil, I quickly became aware that perhaps I had peeled and chipped to many spuds, now why on earth would one come to this conclusion I hear you ask, were my eyes to big for my belly? No. It was because the boiling vegetable oil was now overflowing from the overfilled pan, seeping onto the glowing red electric cooker ring, and was bursting into flames. Oh….Shit! Quickly removing the chip pan onto the draining board which fortunately was not made of a combustible material I the stood and watched the flames which were at that time not to bad, I thought to myself I’ll wait a bit and they will burn them self out, unaware of just how much oil had actually been spilt, The flames got bigger, and higher! Much Higher!! They are not going to burn out, are they, I asked myself, no, not at least until they had burnt the entire fucking building down that is. I know, water! Oh hang on, I may not have been the brightest spark plug in the engine but even I know that water and electricity do not mix. By now the fish fingers had burst into flames under the grill and that was now also on fire. Brilliant, just fucking brilliant. Ah but being in rented accommodation the landlord had supplied a small fire extinguisher, and now would seem like a really really good time to use it. And use it I did, I extinguished the fire in all of about three seconds, however, the extinguisher continued to spray white powder at an alarming rate, with no way of stopping the bloody thing, it seemed like a “light fuse and run” situation, and run I did, though the kitchen, though the living room, up the hall, to the bath room, where I held it over the toilet in order that it would expel the rest of its load without doing any more damage only for it to run out just as I got there. At that moment I did hear a key being put into the front door, and as I left the bathroom I saw that Debe had indeed returned home, though the cloud of white powder still clinging in the air, combined with the black smoke from the toasted fish fingers and the smell of burning chip fat, I vaguely recall the words…. What the fuck happened here? Suffice to say that we both spent the entire evening cleaning the flat instead of reaping the brownie point I had been imagining earlier. At about 11.30 pm I realised that I had forgot to light the ring the tomatos were on , so they were still cold, fancy some tinned toms on toast I asked… I’LL DO IT SHE REPLIED!!!! |
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| Robin The Boy Wonder |
I'll have to ask Debe about that one... |
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| Batmanuel |
As I cast my mind back I sometimes remember little things that have happened to me and Debs, and this is one such occasion, while running the Canterbury shop in Burgate we were both invited to a leaving party by a customer who was in the employ of Marks & Spencer, not only was he finishing his job there but he was also leaving the area to become a full time entertainer, we went to see him perform live once, and yes he really was very talented, not my sort of entertainment, more my Mums, but never the less he was very good.
We arrive at the party at about 9pm and it was full of really posh people, so much so that I was having troble understanding them, I can only imagine what these people would find acceptable in terms of conversation, cricket maybe, the conservative party conference, whips and chains after midnight, I proceeded to help myself to some food, and the to some drink, I couldn’t find anything I normally drink so I settled for a bottle of JD that I found, I had never drunk it before then, and truth be told, never drunk it since. Jamie introduced us to some of his friends, and as the evening went on both me and Debe became more relaxed and started to enjoy ourselves. It was during this period of relaxation that I used the F-Word during a sentence…. Woops, posh people alert! It was at this point that a young lady who looked like she had never blown a pink trumpet in her life, but probably had blown more trumpets than a full time trumpet player in a gay bar had, said… My, please mind your language! Excuse me I replied, what language not realising that I had actually said anything wrong . You used the F-Word she said. Oh, I see, I do apologise, slip of the tongue I said while thinking, you wish. But can I ask you some thing? Shoot she says, wishful thinking again I thought, Do you know the meaning of the F-word? With a puzzled look she replied, well I think I do. I think everyone does, is this a trick question? No I said, but many use the word without knowing the true history behind the word. Perhaps you would like to enlighten me she said, well that was like a red rag to the bull wasn’t it, as I saw Debe’s eyes roll as if to say, oh bloody hell. And what followed was… and this is an abbreviated version, During the Victorian age London was overrun with crime, one of those crimes was prostitution, when these streetwalkers as they were then known were caught and charged the charges transcript for the courts would list the crime as “for unlawful carnal knowledge” if the charge had to be referred to more than once it would be abbreviated to f.u.c.k. And there you have it, that how we got the word Fuck. oh how interesting she said now completely relaxed and smilingly not minding the fact that I had used the F-Word in yet another sentence. I then went on to ask her if she would like me to explain what a Cunt was… It has to be said by this time of the evening I was now very drunk, and with that double whammy Debe dragged me away and took me home, it was getting late after all. |
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| CatFang |
Batmanuel - that is a great story and I would love to have been a fly on the wall, but your proposed derivation of the word is nonsense (although a common urban legend that also has a late medieaval form of "fornication under consent of the King" during the plague years.).
It is a much older word than that with cognates in old English, old German and old Scandinavian languages. There are puns and sly references to it in the earliest writing in English - and most famously somewhat later than that in SHakespeare's Henry V. As for the other word you mention - that's probably older still! See - comics forums are educational! |
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| Batmanuel |
CatFang:
To be honest, i had and still have no idea if the "for unlawful canal knowledge has any validity and i forgot to mention this in the post, Still is sounded really clever, and i had a room full of posh people enthralled by it, and it wasn't bad as a make it up as you go along story, i have no idea where i got it from, but out in popped, and you know what, i am so glad i did, because i was still chuckling when i got home at the look of sheer horror on the faces as i used that all encompassing, all consuming, king of the expletive.... The C Word
Fuck me, i still laugh now when i think back to it, Ah its those little moment in life that make it all worthwhile
I am glad you liked it though I like that "fornication under consent of the King" thing, must remember that for another drunken rant at a later date
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| Reaper |
You my friend are a hero to the masses | ||||
| Batmanuel |
Why thank you i have been called many things in life, but this is the first time i have been refered to as a hero, i am so blushing but happy too thanks again.
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| CatFang |
You need Debe to start taking a video camera when you go out to capture these moments for us
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| Batmanuel |
Heh, we didn't have video cameras back in the day, or mobile phones, microwaves, and digital downloads, we had to use the only recording device available to us, memories but hey you never know, there is video footage of me burying my face into a females fresh (well from a can fresh) cream covered breasts, only to discover that the cream was actually shaving foam, how did i discover it was soap? because i had a bloody great big mouthful of the stuff, that's why
But thats another story for another day
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| Riderman. |
Batmanuel,I cannot believe that you were still carting out that upsetting story about the poor kid with the ice cream who returned home to find his family had moved in 2007. I remember when you told me that had happened to you!! | ||||
| Batmanuel |
Riderman:
Yes and didn't you fall for it hook line and kitchen sink, but the story i told you was about a friend at school and was absolutely TRUE
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| Riderman. |
You are SO full of shit mate! | ||||
| Batmanuel |
Bollocks...
Oh What ! Really. No its a joke you bastard, i will get you back for that, one day. followed by much laughter and back slapping. Ring any bells? and on that note Mmmmm Beanies
I still think its a bloody funny story though, must be why i keep telling it, Did i tell you the one about the... ah, but that's another story for another day
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| Riderman. |
Sorry mate, I crashed out last night, think I've got swine flu, must have contracted it last time I was arrested! 
Anyway,your right, its a fantastic story and you should keep on telling it. I read and enjoyed that one about your cooking skills too.Now that I know to be true, it has the feel of truth about it, and I can easily see you doing that after, if I may be so bold, perhaps one to many? Surely not!!
Not quite sure what the 'ring any bells' comment is all about mate but perhaps it would be better if you explained that to me next time I pop in?Hmmmmm........ Anyway, must dash, my beanies are being neglected some fine Riderman loving. Go web, go!! |
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| Batmanuel |
Swine Flu... Heh, nice one, and The bells... The BELLS... isn't there a Whiskey called that ?
be good, and see you soon, i'm just off to make toast in the kitchen, or is that to make toast of the kitchen, never did quite decide, so i did BOTH
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