Archive for Whatever Comics Forum for Whatevercomics.co.uk Discuss comics. Air your points of view. Fun for all the family!
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Robin The Boy Wonder
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Epic MovieYesterday, at the cinema, a tough choice had to be made: Hot Fuzz or The Number 23. I knew Ann didn't really fancy the former and she's a sucker for a horror movie (good or bad) so I was reasonably confident either way.
Fortunately, to prevent the alpha male from making such a tough, life-changing decision, Ann decided we should go see Epic Movie instead!
So what can I say...?
Clearly, Epic Movie is made in the same vein as the Scary Movie and Date Movie franchise and appears to be the latest in what is fast becoming an annual event (oh, God...). Whatever movie company is responsible for this derisory spoof is clearly only in it for one thing: MONEY! Sadly, after topping the US Box Office in its first week of release, I think it's fairly safe to say that we'll continue seeing these for many more years to come.
Anyhoo, Epic Movie is here to spoof the blockbuster movies that seem to be Hollywood's current money-making trend. Clearly, an area that deserves spoofing... just not by these people.
The movie follows the story of four orphans (Peter, Edward, Susan & Lucy) as they are all brought together after finding a Golden Ticket from whatever misadventure we find ourselves in the beginning (X-Men, Nacho Libre, Snakes on a Plane & The Da Vinci Code respectively). Sadly, their tour of the Wonka factory goes awry when they discover that Mr Willy has his own purposes for the misfit foursome. In hiding, Lucy finds a wardrobe that whisks her away to the magical world of Gnarnia...
...and then things get weirder. Ultimately, it all comes down to these four living up to their destinies by defeating the White Bitch with a pit-stop involving Jack Swallows.
Truth be told, it really isn't very good. There are no belly laughs to be had here and most of the jokes are predictable. Only one moment stood out above all others as the White Bitch exits her chariot to Edward proclaiming: 'Stifler's Mum!' (and yes, it was!).
As for totty, the ever sultry Carmen Electra finds herself playing Mystique in this film, and even made up in blue, is certainly very shaggable.
Amazingly, there were a lot of young kids in the cinema (amazing considering the frequent swearing and sexual innuendo) who seemed to absolutely love this.
All told, there are two things that redeem this movie: a couple of good jokes including one featuring an older version of Harry Potter and that the film is mercifully short. You don't need to look at your watch because, by the time you do, the credits are rolling.
Rating (out of 5): **
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The Rascal King
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You pissed your money up the wall on that? Bloody hell, you couldn't pay me to see that toss. I gave up on the "<word> Movie" franchise after Scary 1.
Honestly, you should have just seen Hot Fuzz instead.
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Robin The Boy Wonder
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You think I don't know that?!?
It's the last time I say to her 'Let's go see a film. Your choice!'
GAH!!! 
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Web of Fear
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I saw the trailer for this and could tell it was rubbish.
All I can say is that I'm sorry you passed on Hot Fuzz for this.
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Robin The Boy Wonder
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Yeah, but at least I can get revenge with the DVD rentals...!
There's nothing much out there that appeals to Ann right now... but plenty that appeals to me. I sit through hers... she sits through mine! HAHAHAH!!!
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Reaper
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Unless your other half has a similar taste in films to you (Luckily Sarah has a very similar taste, makes life easy) Never Ever say 'Your Choice'..... Let that be a lesson to you
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The Rascal King
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I was going to say, the words "your choice" are... well, they're bad bad bad, mistake words.
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Robin The Boy Wonder
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After five years, I really should know better by now... 
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Guest
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Yes you should.
Unfortunatly you are an idiot and will never learn!!
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Robin The Boy Wonder
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It takes an idiot to know an idiot! 
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Reaper
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It's nice to see young love blossoming 
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Kikari
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OK the film made my eyes bleed but I though the vocal impersonation of Jack Sparrow was pretty good. Other than that I'd rather dig my eyes out with a rusty spoon than watch this again
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Guest
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still haven't seen it. still have eyes.
although, admittedly, i did see date movie for alyson hannigan. In kill bill gear. yeah.
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Kikari
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*shudders*
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